Something Wrong With Me?

cartoon kids in a row


I have entered that age when all your mates are married and having children, but I am still single, and I don’t think the situation will ever change. I have no problem with that, I like being alone and I am able to use the drill, should I need to hang a shelf.

My friends are of course happy and proud of their offspring, but are wise enough not to invite me to christenings and birthday parties, however I feel there must be something wrong with me.

I visit them from time to time and I get in touch with the babies, but I have to fake enthusiasm: to me, small children are all the same (even if not size-wise). I see my colleagues and acquaintances raving about newborn babies, and getting dreamy eyes, I see my friends really willing to hold them and not willing to let them go, I hear my girlfriends talking about the children they would like to have. I don’t feel like that, I don’t dislike them, but they leave me neutral.

The more girls I hear talking about children, the more I feel like something must be missing from my configuration. Where other women have motherly feelings, I must have something else; what? No idea.

I have never liked dolls, never liked to play “house” or anything like that. I liked microscopes, tearing things apart and then trying to put them back together, I liked Lego and roaming in the fields. I guess I was a bit of a tomboy, and I suppose I still must be. But is it really natural, or is peer pressure making all the gals go crazy for kids?

What I have noticed is that the more I see people posting links and status on their Facebook walls saying how much better they are because they are parents, the more irritable I become. I can appreciate they are happy, I just do not understand why they feel entitled to state they are better than other people, only because they managed to mate and produce a kid.

Of course, not all parents are like that, but the few that are make up for all the rest.

3 thoughts on “Something Wrong With Me?

  1. Perhaps they aren’t saying they are better than other people, but better than their former selves? I think that every great learning experience in our lives–profoundly life changing ones like joining the Peace Corps, getting a first ‘real job’, writing a book, having a child, running a marathon, what-have-you–will hopefully elevate us from our former selves, teaching us invaluable lessons. There’s no doubt that having a child changes everything and the lessons that come from that are often very valuable. So, I hope they aren’t saying they are better than you, or anyone else who doesn’t have a child, but only that they have learned so much from their new, profound experiences, that they feel like they’ve grown as people in ways that have shown them things they never knew or expected from life. I’m not gonna lie and say that I think that taking a vacation to Alaska is on par with that type of world-changing experience, but all learning comes in various packages. Someone who goes to India to do volunteer work with kids who live in slums is also going to report life-changing, mind-blowing, learning experiences that give them new perspective on life. I don’t know if they think they are better than me, though. 🙂 Maybe they do! But I’d prefer to think they don’t. Here’s hoping it is the same with your friends.

    As for something wrong with you–nope. Lots of women don’t want to have kids. I’ve known many in my lifetime. And they are all just fine, normal women. 🙂

    • Thanks for your insight Leta. I really appreciate it. You are right, maybe I’m getting the message wrong, it’s just that some of them sound so full of themselves…
      As I said, I understand that having a child is something that completely changes your perspective, but repeating incessantly and erasing everything else seems a bit too much to me 🙂
      Thank God it’s only a tiny bit of them.

      Thanks again for taking the time to comment and have a very merry Christmas!

      • I hear ya. Spend some time around freshly returned Peace Corps workers (or people who have been on a similar kind of long-term assignment or trip) and you’ll find the same bleating full-of-themselves stuff that you get with new/young parents. Eventually it all wears off a little. 😛 But it can take awhile. Heh. I hope your friends come back to reality sooner than most. Yes, have yourself a merry Christmas!! 🙂 Happy holidays!

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